I was walking down the weirdest yet beautiful path of my life, as I was walking I could hear birds flying and people talking. Then I bumped into a women who was quite old and her name was Isabelle. She told me about the mysteries of the path and how there was evil inside. Later when I left the path I went to get a coffee at the café, when I heard a screaming sound in a distance. It was funny because nobody else heard except for me. So I wondered over and saw Isabelle standing there like a statue.
1 Ideas: The ideas of the ‘blurring bullets’ in a fantastic way of replacing hover cars because its more intense.
2 Organisation: The fact that the author used ‘the roar of the hover cars filled the air’ was a great way to kick off the chapter.
3 Voice: The voice of the author is very intense/action because there are not many full stops in the book, which means you must read fast.
4 Word Choice: The words ‘frightening speed’ fitted this part of the book perfectly, because it describes the furious cars.
5 Sentence Fluency: The sentences were long which made you breathe less at the end of each sentence.
6 Conventions: The author used great conventions in this book which made it good.