1 Ideas: The ideas of the ‘blurring bullets’ in a fantastic way of replacing hover cars because its more intense.
2 Organisation: The fact that the author used ‘the roar of the hover cars filled the air’ was a great way to kick off the chapter.
3 Voice: The voice of the author is very intense/action because there are not many full stops in the book, which means you must read fast.
4 Word Choice: The words ‘frightening speed’ fitted this part of the book perfectly, because it describes the furious cars.
5 Sentence Fluency: The sentences were long which made you breathe less at the end of each sentence.
6 Conventions: The author used great conventions in this book which made it good.
Hey Billy! said Johny as he rode down the road on his horse. Billy was upset so he didn’t answer at all. Billy was walking home when he saw a stranger getting bashed outside a bar. Hey get off him screemed Billy. Who are you? me? “i’m Billy Howsan and i’m a farmer. Now get off him before i get the cops! Lets get him said the gang of people. Ahh! screemed Billy as he was getting chased. Bang! Bang! Bang! bullets flew out of the revolver. Wow! who are you? I’m Harry! nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too said Billy as they happily walked down the road to Billy’s house. Next day went to work at the farm when he decided to have a break and go to the river to have some rest.
Once he got to the river he saw a funny looking boat coming towards him. Soon the boat stopped and a Chinese walked out. Ha ha Laughed Billy because the Chinese looked like a alien from outer space. What are you laughing at said the Chinese as he came closer and closer. Wham Billy knocked him out. That night billy brought him back to the town to show everybody. When Billy chucked him down on the table Ming woke up. Hey why are there so many people crowding me haa haa i’m asking a question.
Next morning Ming woke up in a dusty room inside a farm house. When Ming went outside he saw billy. Hello friend said Ming as he walked closer and closer to Billy. Do you have anything to eat said Ming yeah shore, go in the second door to the right and eat some food there.
Later that day another ship load of Chinese came. As the days passed more and more Chinese came. Soon the towns were crowded with Chinese. As the months passed the Chinese thought of an idea of building train tracks through out america. Soon the idea got the Americans thinking. Ten years later the train tracks were finished and all thanks to the Chinese we had train tracks.